"Why Linux Viruses are fairly uncommon" from Charlie Harvey

 [colorful rounded image of the Head of a GNU]

evilmalware 0.6 (beta)

Copyright 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005
E\/17 |-|4><0|2z Software Foundation, Inc.

This is free software; see the source for copying conditions.  There is
NO warranty; not even for MERCHANTABILITY, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF IMPORTANT 
DATA or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE (eg. sending thousands of Viagra 
spams to people accross the world).

Basic Installation
==================

Before attempting to compile this virus make sure you have the correct
version of glibc installed, and that your firewall rules are set to `allow 
everything'.

1. Put the attachment into the appropriate directory eg. /usr/src

2. Type `tar xvzf evilmalware.tar.gz' to extract the source files for 
   this virus.

3. `cd' to the directory containing the virus's source code and type
   `./configure' to configure the virus for your system.  If you're
   using `csh' on an old version of System V, you might need to type
   `sh ./configure' instead to prevent `csh' from trying to execute
   `configure' itself.

4. Type `make' to compile the package. You may need to be logged in as 
   root to do this.

5. Optionally, type `make check_payable' to run any self-tests that come 
   with the virus, and send a large donation to an unnumbered Swiss bank 
   account.

6. Type `make install' to install the virus and any spyware, trojans
   pornography, penis enlargement adverts and DDoS attacks that 
   come with it.
  
7. You may now configure your preferred malware behaviour in 
   /etc/evilmalware.conf .

SEE ALSO
   evilmalware(1), evilmalware.conf(5), please_delete_all_my_files(1) 

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.

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Updated: 8 Apr 2000 tower